Ballmer calls up Gates after Yahoo! Deal call off!

Note:This is an imaginary comic article. This is just a satire and contains no facts.

fter the Yahoo! Deal was laid off, the whole Microsoft felt deceived and upset. On January 31st 2008, YHOO stocks closed at 19.03$. And a day after, the Microsoft announcing its interest to takeover the internet giant, its stock prices shot up to 28$ in a single day and even reached 30$ at some point of time. But because of the indifferent approach of Yahoo! Board, Microsoft had to call off the deal. Post Yahoo!, an upset Gates calls up Ballmer.

Gates: What is this, Steve? I expected more from you. You should have gone for the proxy fight. Why did you give up?
Ballmer: No dear. There’s no point in it. They were asking for too much. And moreover they will anyway tie up with Google; there is no point in taking over in that case.
Gates: What can we do now? How do we save our face? I am not able to concentrate on my philanthropy 'business', you see.
Ballmer: Even I am thinking about it. I tried my luck on Facebook, MySpace, but they did not budge. Then tried revamping, no one is even visiting it. Now after Yahoo! I see no way out.
Gates: Why don’t we take our fight to our old friend, Apple? Can we announce a iPhone killer?
Ballmer: Not a bad idea! We can in fact. We can use the Zune hardware, with an Xbox processor and put Vista in it….
Gates: Vista? Will it fit in? The kernel itself is 3 GB!!
Ballmer: Bill, why are you talking like a child! We can always revamp it. As we always used to do! We will remove the security module, Aero, the file system, the boot loader and…yeah, the multimedia too.
Gates: What will be left then?
Ballmer: The DOS kernel!
Gates: Still the DOS kernel? I thought we developed a new kernel for Vista?
Ballmer: Yeah, we did. Who said otherwise? We rewrote the whole DOS kernel from C to C#.
Gates: How innovative! I am impressed. Now what we will we name our new product? It should really be something people can easily recognize. Something like iPhone…how about oPhone?
Ballmer: I am afraid, O2 might complain….what about GPhone?
Gates: Its already there you homie…Google Phone, so are the SPhone, KPhone etc. All patented.
Ballmer: No alphabets left? Oh, hey! How about xPhone? That adds an x-factor... oh heavens.. I am amazed on my own creativity!!!
Gates: Dude, watch out, x rating your product won’t help. I think we should go in our Windows line, 98, Millenium, 2000, XP, Vista….why don’ we name it Pista?
Ballmer: Oh, you better name it some Chocolate or strawberry…ha ha
Gates: Hey! You said it! Strawberry! We can also challenge blackberry with it! You are a genius! I am convinced.
Ballmer: thanks (blushing).
Gates: So, when can we have the press conference?...

when technology gets advanced, people get silly.


Yahoo! to bid for Microsoft???

After more than two months of speculation, negotiation, round tables, press conferences and ultimatums it seems both Microsoft and Yahoo! have said they have enough of the drama. Microsoft spokesperson on the press conference said that, "This is what we both wanted, to be in the front cover of all the business journals and portals, rise in share values and publicity. This was the biggest form of advertising both we and Microsoft could get and the master plan has really paid off!". He also noted that at the end we wanted to call an end to this drama, as we found the drama is losing its charisma.
"We are now thinking of bidding for Microsoft for maybe, 150 billion. I know we don't have that much funds with us. But we have asked Warner Bros. to sponsor this soap, and they have agreed to the same. They have their own publicity plans regarding the same, we will have a weekly show in BBC and CNN to get more publicity." When asked about how many months this new drama is going to last, Microsoft's Balmer said, " I don't have the clearest idea, but it could last for 2-3 months, depending on the publicity and popularity. Spielberg is in charge of the script and direction". "We are sure, both us and Yahoo! can tip Google from the top spot, with this kind of slick marketing. "

This is a spoof and not real news. Don't run to buy some MSFT, YHOO shares half reading the article. I am not responsible for any loss occuring in such cases.
posted in sillytech on May 05, 2008

Windows may evolve, but bugs never.

Microsoft announced that it would delay its release of Windows XP service Pack 3, as it uncovered a new found glitch last week. The same glitch apparently is already there in Vista Service Pack 1 which it has already broadly released last week.
For lesser mortals, here is the full news.For others read on...

You need not drop your jaws if tomorrow Steve Ballmer announces that the same glitch has been found in XP Services Pack 2, 1 etc, or maybe Windows 98 Service Pack 1 as well. As each of these Operating Systems have been coded from scratch and are entirely different than their predecessors, it is only the theory of probability to be blamed if the same bug is surfacing on all the OSes. You people never listened when I said I maths is flawed!!

posted in sillytech on April 2008.